The Sexuality Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex carries tremendous significance and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other individual might be a match on levels besides physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are attracted to our website extremely tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , causing effective feelings of destination, excitement, love, well-being, and closeness .

When problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They probably would not confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that a number of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in urban areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

However, North includes, "I believe this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should look at this site be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry click here to find out more take place, though often it can grow with time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, values, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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