The Sex Trap, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, making love carries tremendous meaning and effects.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are brought in to exceptionally tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel very near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and uncontrolled , leading to effective feelings of attraction, excitement, love, nearness, and well-being .

When issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They most likely would not admit it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay her latest blog males, says that a number of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in cities, sex is easily check my blog available, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, motivates sex. Lots of gay guys desire to discover from the beginning if a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I believe this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a offered that we hop over to here cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow with time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, values, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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