The Sensuality Trap, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze good sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, making love brings tremendous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be excellent also).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the chance to have sex with someone we are brought in to exceptionally hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and uncontrolled , leading to powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, nearness, love, and well-being .

When problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is excellent!" They more than likely wouldn't admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, states that numerous of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in city areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time basics if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

However, North includes, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a given that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with typical sense. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, objectives, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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